


Mangoes, A Sleepy Time Lord, and the Benefit of a Best Friend's Opinion

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 06:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Rose share a few secrets with one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is silly, forgive me! :)

"Doctor..." said Rose slowly one evening, placing the book she'd been reading on her lap.

"Hmm?" he answered distractedly, his head jerking up and his eyes flickering open. He'd been dozing next to her on the sofa, his arm around her shoulders, holding her to him as she read.

"What's the time?"

He yawned and closed his eyes again. "Nearly midnight."

Her brow furrowed thoughtfully.

"I know what you're thinking," he murmured.

"Don't know what you mean," she denied.

"You're doing that frowny face thing, I can tell," he countered.

"I was just..."

"Wondering why I'm so sleepy tonight," he filled in for her.

She swallowed hard, worried. "Yeah, exactly."

He exhaled roughly. "It's a bit embarrassing."

Rose arched an eyebrow and flung her book on the floor so that she could get to her knees, twisting her body to face him. "Okay, so now I'm really curious. What's the matter?"

His arm had slid from around her with her movements, and he let it drop to his side. "I don't really want to tell you, because then you'll be aware of another one of my weaknesses," he mumbled. "And goodness' knows you've got enough power over me as it is."

She grinned at that and asked innocently, "Have I?"

He opened his eyes and fixed her with a dubious gaze. "You know you do."

"Well, you've got to tell me now," she pointed out. "Otherwise I'll only use my evil powers to force you tell me anyway!" She waved her hands in front of his face mystically.

He laughed and grabbed her hands, yanking her forwards, startling her. Nearly nose to nose, he whispered, "You must promise to never tell anyone else what I am about to tell you."

A little breathless, she replied just as quietly, "I promise."

He let go of her hands and she retreated a bit, aware that hovering over him like that was doing a very-not-good thing to her heart rate.

"Right," he sighed resolutely, wincing in embarrassment. "Mangoes."

Rose eyebrows jumped up her forehead. "I'm sorry?"

"Mangoes make me sleepy," he told her seriously.

"M-mangoes?" she stuttered, trying not to laugh.

"Mangoes," he confirmed, nodding gravely.

"And you've, what, just eaten one?" she asked.

"Earlier this evening I did, yeah. It's made me more tired than usual, hence why I keep nodding off. Sorry."

"So...why?"

He shrugged. "I've no idea. It's always been this way — every regeneration. I've run tests on them to see what exactly it is that's in them that make me want to sleep, but alas, despite me being a genius and everything, I have found no conclusive results. It doesn't make sense."

"No, I mean, why did you eat one if you knew it would make you sleepy?"

"Well, sometimes I eat them deliberately so that I get a nice deep sleep."

She folded her arms. "And you couldn't bear the thought of listening to my conversation all evening so you decided to eat a mango and fall asleep instead?"

"No, no, no I didn't say that — did I say that? No, I didn't." He tugged on his ear awkwardly. "Anyway, you weren't talking to me; you were reading!"

Her eyes twinkled dangerously at him. "Not the point, my friend," she declared.

He chuckled nervously and startled her again by placing his hands on her waist, using his grip on her as leverage as he pulled himself into a sitting position at the edge of the sofa. He kept his hands right where they were once he was done, and she didn't protest. "Rose, I had my reasons for wanting to fall asleep this evening, and not one of them was because I didn't want to listen to you. I always want to listen to you."

Her lips twitched but she kept her arms folded and questioned, "All right, then; what are your reasons?"

He glanced away awkwardly. "Um...they're sort of a secret," he answered.

"Listen, I don't really care whether you ate a mango and wanted to sleep or not; I'm just curious as to how you can constantly have a go at me for sleeping my life away instead of talking to you, and yet when I'm awake you want to be asleep..." she replied.

He was completely aware that she was using that tone of voice she had, the one that could make him do just about anything, to manipulate him into answering her. He sniffed purposefully and refused to reply.

She continued, "I mean, surely you could've just eaten a mango after I'd gone to bed, right? Then we'd both be asleep at the same time and neither of us would have to sit in here bored and alone."

He opened his mouth to reply but accidentally yawned loudly instead. "Sorry," he smiled sheepishly, then tried again, murmuring, "You wanted to...to..."

"To what?"

"Cuddle."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Eh?"

"When we're in here, on this sofa, reading, you always want to cuddle," he clarified.

Rose stared at him. He stared back, taking in her tightened jaw, and realised that he was perhaps phrasing things in the wrong way. Especially as now she was unfolding her arms to take hold of his hands and remove them from her waist.

"Ah. No — wait, hold on a second, Rose," he said hurriedly, as she picked up her book and shifted down the other end of the sofa, ignoring his protests. "I didn't mean it to sound like I don't want you to want to cuddle..." he trailed off, gulping. How did he get himself into this awkward situation? He knew he shouldn't've told her about the bloody sleep-inducing qualities of mangoes. Rubbing at his eyes tiredly, he sighed and crawled over to her, seeing that he wasn't going to get her attention any other way.

Blinking up at him in surprise, she huffed, "Isn't this a little too close for you, Doctor?"

He rolled his eyes and slid his arm beneath her knees, lifting her legs up and turning her sideways onto the sofa, before lying down next to her.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed, feigning exasperation.

He flung his arm across her stomach and tucked her carefully against him.

"What are you spooning me for?" she demanded next, sounding baffled.

"Rose," he murmured, his chin resting between her neck and shoulder, causing his breath to brush against her ear. "I like it that you like to cuddle. I like it so much that I was going to use the mango-situation to my advantage this evening."

"I don't get it," she mumbled, trying not to breathe in and out too shakily, aware that he would hear how having him pressed against her like this was affecting her.

"Well, if I fell asleep, you wouldn't be able to leave," he whispered.

"What?"

"You're too considerate to risk waking me up by moving. So you'd be stuck. In my arms. Until morning."

Her breath hitched in her throat and she hastily coughed in an attempt to disguise it. "Doctor?" she prompted, for further elaboration.

Sighing wistfully, he trailed his fingertips in a slow circle on her stomach. "I wanted to see what it would be like to wake up with you," he confessed quietly.

"Why not just ask me?" she croaked, her throat dry. "Or...you know...go about it the normal way?"

"Normal way?"

"Yeah."

"What's the normal way?" he mumbled sleepily.

"I...I s'pose...well. You wouldn't want — I mean, it's — you're different, I s'pose, so I guess we wouldn't — couldn't...Doctor? You still awake?"

He didn't answer, and she let out a breath of relief, glad that she didn't have to figure out how to reply to his question. She was suddenly feeling rather knackered herself thanks to the effort of trying to hold a sane conversation with the man currently sleeping with his arm slung across her and his face buried in the crook of her neck. Silently hoping that things wouldn't be awkward in the morning, she closed her eyes and let herself doze off too.


	2. Chapter 2

When she awoke, she blinked silently for a few moments, trying to gather her bearings. She then remembered falling asleep with the Doctor on the library sofa, and realised that she'd rolled over in the night, hence why she was now facing him. Her breath caught as she looked at him; his expression was so peaceful, and he seemed so very young. 

Of its own accord, her hand lifted to stroke his cheek lightly, her thumb then brushing across one of his eyebrows. He was usually so animated; it was weird to see him so still, his eyebrows and mouth resting rather than pulling all sorts of expressive faces. She giggled quietly at the thought.

Rose watched him sleeping for the next few minutes, staying snuggled close. She wouldn't be able to get up without waking him, for his arm was securely wrapped around her, and their legs were touching. He pulled an adorable expression in his sleep, then, and she couldn't resist tilting her head slightly to press a soft kiss to his jaw, the nearest thing to her mouth. 

She held her breath in anticipation when she noticed his eyelids flutter softly as he expelled a sigh. Sensing he was stirring awake, she hastily tilted her head away and closed her own eyes, feigning sleep.

She heard the Doctor make a contented hum as he awoke, and tried not to smile and give herself away. His hand rose to brush her hair behind her ear tenderly, and she sincerely couldn't help the shiver that ran through her at his gentle touch.

"I knew it," she heard him murmur.

Her curiosity overwhelmed her, then, and she yawned as she pretended to wake up. Smiling at him lazily, she mumbled, "Knew what?"

His cheeks flushed slightly pink and she wondered if she'd ever seen him do that before. "Oh, um, nothing," he hurriedly assured her.

"Okay," she replied nonchalantly, and then beamed at him. "Good morning."

He grinned back, looking delighted. "Hello."

"So, was it worth it?"

"Hmm?"

"Waking up with me," she clarified calmly. "Was it what you expected?"

That shy look came upon his face again. "I...yes. Well, no. Better."

"Better?" she repeated, placing her hand on his chest to see if his hearts were beating as fast as hers. They were. Excitement bubbled up inside her.

"Yeah," he confirmed quietly. "Better."

"It's not the most comfortable place to sleep, though, this sofa," Rose mused quietly, rolling her shoulders and hearing a click. The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "I mean, I can think of comfier places," she continued, and the way he was looking at her made her voice falter halfway through her words, causing her tone to sound decidedly breathier than she had intended.

"Yeah?" he prompted.

"Yeah." They stared at each other for a few moments.

When the Doctor could bear the intensity of their shared gaze no longer, he cleared his throat and injected some innocuousness into their conversation with the question, "What would you like for breakfast?" At least, he'd thought it would sound innocuous, but the way his dry throat caused his voice to come out all rough and gravelly kind of ruined the harmless remark and changed it into something tantamount to flirtation.

Which, to be fair, was actually rather par-of-the-course where he and Rose Tyler were concerned. And anyway, it was all in the response; it was her turn to take his comment whichever way she pleased, and thus it would be her responsibility if she decided to continue the flirtatious trail of thought, so really he was in no way to blame for any of this, it was completely all her and —

"Hmm, think I'll have some toast."

Oh. He was almost disappointed.

"With butter and marmite," she continued.

Make that very disappointed. "Hold on," he protested. "I don't like marmite."

"What's that got to do with anything?" she snorted. "You can have marmalade; I'm having marmite."

"But..."

"But what?"

Well, there went his plans for kissing Rose at some point today. Honestly, she didn't half make things difficult. "S'pose you're gonna have a pear as well," he grumbled, closing his eyes and considering whether he should just go back to sleep and thus back to that very nice dream he'd been dreaming in which Rose had most definitely not eaten marmite on toast or pears and most definitely let him kiss her non-marmite-y, non-pear-y lips.

"Nah, I threw the pears away remember, 'cos you painted faces on them."

"That one with the moustache was a masterpiece, Rose Tyler," he chuckled to himself.

"If you say so," she giggled back. "Have you ever had a moustache? I think it'd make you look distinguished..."

"And old," he replied, wrinkling his nose up.

"You are old," she retorted cheekily.

He opened his eyes again and mock-glared at her. "And you just lost the right to snuggle me," he sniffed.

Rose giggled, unfazed by this punishment. "You wouldn't last a day," she countered smugly.

"Want to bet on that?"

"Don't need to. It's a fact," Rose grinned.

His fingertips wandered up her arm to the side of her neck threateningly, where he knew her to be most ticklish, before trailing back down again at her beg for mercy.

"I dispute that entirely," he said, of her opinion on his ability to go without being close to her. "But, seeing as I like you and would rather you stay happy, I won't impose such a dire fate on you. Your privilege of snuggle-rights has been reinstated."

"Like it ever went away in the first place — have you noticed the way we're laying on this thing?" she laughed.

"Yes," he answered simply. "I have."

"So, old man, where art thou taking us today?"

"Watch it, young woman, or I'll push you off the sofa."

"You wouldn't dare."

"It'd be your own fault for being on the side nearest the edge rather than having the safety of the back."

"Easily remedied," she grinned, and before he could even register what she meant, she'd hooked her leg over his and climbed over him, forcing him forwards towards the edge with her movements. It was all rather inspiring, but then she declared, "Ha!" as though she'd won the battle, which of course would not do. His competitive nature got the better of him and he twisted to face her, wound his arms around her waist, and hauled her back across him into her old position.

"Hey! How do you even have the strength to do that?" she asked wonderingly, marvelling at his ability to lift her so swiftly.

"Oi! You saying I don't look all manly and strong?" he demanded.

She eyed him dubiously. "That's exactly what I am saying. You're so skinny that I probably weigh more than you."

"Don't be silly. Besides, you're quite short whereas I am very manly and tall - "

"What's this obsession you have about me thinking of you as manly? The other day you were going on about your manly sideburns, yesterday you mentioned something about having manly hobbies, and now this..."

"Well," he sniffed haughtily. "Maybe a certain someone took quite a while to even consider me a man at all, hence why I have a complex about it this time around."

Her eyes widened. "Doctor, don't make it sound like I've made you self-conscious; in all other respects you couldn't be more vain!" she laughed.

"Well in all other respects I reckon you'd agree that I have something to be vain about; my hair is rather splendid after all, and you can't argue that I am the most intelligent man you've ever met..."

Rose rolled her eyes. "You are so full of yourself."

"Perhaps sometimes. But everyone has insecurities, Rose," he said softly.

Her brow crinkled as she looked at him thoughtfully. "Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we play a game?"

"What sort of game?"

"A confessions sort of game."

He arched an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like a fun game..."

"No, but it'll help, see. And all best friends play this at some point. Maybe. Well, Shareen and me used to, anyway, to make ourselves feel better after we'd done something really embarrassing."

He still looked sceptical. "And how does this 'game' work exactly?"

"Right, what you've got to do is, you say something you're self-conscious about, something you don't like about yourself. And then I'll turn it into a positive. And then vice versa. Yeah?"

He sighed. She was giving him that look with the eyes and the eyelashes and the lips. He caved in almost instantly. "Oh...kay," he said slowly, still a bit hesitant.

"Okay. So what's one of your hang-ups, then?" she asked.

"Weeelll," he pondered where to start. "There's the obvious one but I suppose that's not light-hearted enough to include in a 'game' - "

"It can be anything, Doctor. Whatever you want," she interrupted softly. They'd curled back into their earlier position, with his arm loosely draped over her waist and her hand on his chest. The tips of her fingers drummed lightly against his collar bone through his shirt.

"Trouble is, Rose, I want to tell you things I've never told anyone," he replied, just as quietly.

"Why is that a problem, though? I'll listen, you know I'll listen."

"It's not a question of whether you'd listen or not, it's whether you'd look at me in the same way ever again afterwards."

She swallowed slowly and then bumped his knee encouragingly with hers. "I'm your friend. I'm not going to judge you or laugh at you or be scared of you, Doctor. You can talk to me, if you want, you really can."

"These confessions," he pondered quietly. "They stay within the TARDIS walls? Between us?"

"Of course. What, you'd think I'd go and shout out all your weaknesses to the universe? Don't be daft."

"Right. Well. First things first, then." He paused and let out a long breath before admitting, "I often have this — er, this uncontrollable urge to — to - "

"To what?" Rose prompted.

He swallowed hard. "To go sky diving on the planet Restjakovitch."

She narrowed her eyes dubiously. "That's not what you were going to say."

He sighed. She knew him too well. "No. But the point still stands."

"Alright then, what's so problematic about wanting to sky dive on the planet Restja — Restjacka-?"

"Restjakovitch," he corrected softly. "They have the biggest freefall sky diving tourist industry in the universe. Problem is, it's completely not safe; if you fail to land on one of the safety nets that are rather haphazardly located at the foot of Mount Korinb, then...well. I won't elaborate."

"Ah. So you don't fancy risking a regeneration for the thrill, then?"

"Nope."

"Good. Don't want to lose another you anytime soon," she murmured.

He sent her a soft smile. "Is that right?"

"Yeah," she breathed out roughly. "So! Is it my turn now?"

"Yep!" He secretly thanked her for dismissing his worries that she'd probe him for the proper continuation of his earlier sentence. She knew when to let a subject drop, did his Rose. Mind you, she also knew when to bring it back up at inopportune and rather random moments, so maybe in several days' time when they are stuck in some prison cell she'll start up the Doctor Inquisition regarding his aborted confession anyway. He'd have to brace himself for that. And perhaps work out some answers that wouldn't cost him her friendship.


	3. Chapter 3

He cleared his throat. "Go on then, Rose."

Rose hesitated. "I worry that I'm too selfish," she murmured.

He frowned at her. "Rose, you're the most unselfish person I know."

She shook her head. "That's not true. And you know it. The thing is, I love this life so much, yeah? I always have. I feel like belong here, with you, on the TARDIS, on all those planets out there...and it's so much fun. I didn't want to be stuck at the estate doing the same old thing every day and you gave me the chance to get away from it all. But I left Mum and Mickey without even telling them anything, and now...well, I know we go back and see Mum a lot, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm hurting her by being away, and it most definitely doesn't change the fact that I hurt Mickey so much that he ended up staying in a parallel universe..."

The Doctor interlinked their fingers slowly. "Rose, you deserve to be living whatever life you want, doing whatever makes you happy. Everyone deserves that. You can't live your life for someone else, or you'll never live at all."

She sighed. "I should've told Mickey right away that things weren't ever gonna be the same between us. Instead I sort of...strung him along 'cos I felt like I needed someone to fall back to if things didn't..."

"Didn't what?"

She coughed awkwardly. "Well, you know. Work out. Here."

His eyebrows rose. "You thought things wouldn't work out here?"

"Doctor, you're this massively important person in the universe who owns his own time-and-space-ship. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, or how long I would be welcome."

He squeezed her hand lightly. "You're always welcome."

She smiled at him softly then continued, "Still. I was awful."

"You weren't," he denied.

"I was," she countered.

"Only a little," the Doctor relented. "And that's my fault, not yours."

"Why?"

"You know why."

They stared at each other silently for a few seconds, then the Doctor spoke his next confession.

"I think I'm too skinny this time around," he said. He held his arm up in front of her face and circled his wrist with his other hand, the tips of his thumb and index finger easily meeting. "I mean, look at this! That's how tiny this wrist is! It's ridiculous!"

"Well, I think you're perfectly fine. Nice and slim."

He waggled his eyebrows suddenly, remembering — "And a little bit foxy?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Shut up. Point is, you've nothing to worry about. You're not too skinny. And the look suits you, anyway."

He smiled at her gratefully. "If you say so. Come on then, Tyler. Next one from you."

"I've never liked my eyes," she admitted.

He gasped, offended on her behalf. "What!"

"What?" she replied, shifting awkwardly.

"How can you not like — Rose, seriously now, your eyes are lovely."

"The way you say that makes it sound as though I needn't worry about my eyes 'cos I've got worse things to worry about," she laughed.

He shook his head vehemently. "That is not what I meant at all."

"If you say so," she echoed his earlier words, still giggling.

"Remind me to get my sketchpad out of my room later."

"Why?"

"Because I have some drawings that I think you need to look at, seeing as apparently your mirror isn't working correctly."

"You've drawn me?" she exclaimed, gobsmacked.

He tugged on his ear briefly. "Is that...not allowed?"

"I just...didn't think you would do that, that's all. I mean...When?"

"Have to amuse myself somehow while you're asleep, don't I?" Then he added hurriedly, "That is not to say I sit and watch you when you're asleep like some sort of stalker! I simply draw you from memory, that's all. Sitting in my room. Not looking at you while you're asleep, not at all. Except maybe occasionally, I admit, if I forget which way your hair's parted on that particular day but seriously, it's just for a second and then I'm gone, no lingering or anything, and it's back to my own room and my sketchpad."

She raised an eyebrow. "You could just eat a mango instead," she pointed out.

He grinned at her sheepishly. "But the drawing thing has sort of become a hobby. You're always telling me to get myself another hobby. So I have."

"What else do you draw?"

He was silent.

"...Doctor?"

"Uh...sceneries." He paused. "Different planets and...um. Things like that." He refrained from mentioning that she featured in each and every one of these scenes, on each and every landscape.

She raised her eyebrows. "Fruit? Mangoes?"

He let out a rather unmanly giggle. "Erm. No."

"Okay. Right. Anyway...your turn."

"I don't like curtains, and that makes me sad."

She tried not to laugh. "Why?"

"Because it reminds me that I'm not infallible. I have irrational fears just like everyone else. How ordinary is that? Which totally negates the actual reason for my irrational fear in them in the first place."

"Why do you have a reason for it if it's irrational?"

"I don't know, it's just...domestic and claustrophobic and eugh."

"Doctor, luckily, no room on the TARDIS requires curtains. So we're safe."

"But what if we get stranded somewhere, hmm?"

"Like we almost did after Krop Tor?" she suggested quietly.

"Exactly!"

"Then we'd just get a house with no windows or not put up any curtains. Simple."

"I also don't like carpets," he reminded her.

"We have carpet on the TARDIS!" she laughed.

"Yes, but that's okay, because we're on the TARDIS."

"And that makes sense."

"Yes."

"So you don't like the carpet in my mum's flat?"

"Weeelll...now, those ones are okay. I don't mind carpets that are in houses if I don't have to live in the house in question."

"Right," she nodded, going along with this placatingly. "Then if we got stranded and needed a house, we would just rip the carpet up and have laminated flooring or concrete or just mud and grass or whatever the ground is made from on that particular planet, alright?"

"Sounds good."

"Good," she laughed.

"I also don't like pears."

"Well I know that one already."

"Don't eat a pear ever again, Rose."

"Why's that?"

"Because...well, I just won't be able to come within several feet of you and that would be tragic."

"Fine," she sighed. "But Doctor, you're getting off topic. Not liking pears isn't an insecurity, it's just a — a thing. A fact."

"True," he nodded. He paused, then grinned at her suddenly.

"What are you smiling about?"

"I don't actually completely hate curtains and carpets, you know."

"No?"

"Nope. I just wanted to see what you would say."

"Why?"

"Well, your responses told me a lot about you," he informed her wisely.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Firstly, you naturally assumed that in the hypothetical stranded situation, we would live in a house together — no need to blush, Rose, we did discuss it already, after all -"

"- yeah, and you brushed me off!" she laughed, blushing pinker.

"No I didn't!" he retorted.

"Yeah you did. Anyone would've thought I'd asked you to marry me or something!"

"Well, co-habitation is rather commitment-y."

"We live together on the TARDIS!" she pointed out. "How would a house be any different in that respect? Friends do live in houses together, you know."

"I know. Like I said; it wasn't a brush-off, not really — although Rose, to be fair, 'mortgage' does literally mean pledge of death so forgive me for being a little cautious — but no, mostly it was just the black hole above us and potentially stranding you years from Jackie forever making me...well. In any case, if I were going to have to live in a house, I'd at least want something nice there with me. That's you, by the way. Anyway, going back to what I was saying earlier, your responses to my irrational fears also told me something else, something I knew already really."

"And what's that?" she sighed, pretending to be exasperated with him.

"You're incredibly compassionate. You completely disproved your earlier point about being selfish. You'd go out of your way to make silly sacrifices for me like no curtains and no carpets when realistically you shouldn't have to do such a thing."

Rose smiled. "You're so daft sometimes."

"Perhaps. But if me being daft sometimes makes you smile like that, then - " he broke off, belatedly realising what he was saying. He cleared his throat gently. "Anyway. Next confession, Rose Tyler."

"Can't think of one at the moment. Can't you have another go?"

"Alright." He paused, and met her gaze firmly. "I worry, endlessly, that one day, I'll go back to being the man I was before you made me better."


	4. Chapter 4

She blinked at him wordlessly for a moment, then replied, "Firstly, you weren't a bad person before, Doctor; you just did what you had to do. And on behalf of the universe...you're forgiven for that, alright? Even if you can't forgive yourself - I and every good moral being out there forgives you." She smiled at him gently and to her relief, his own lips twitched into a small answering smile. "And secondly — why would you go backwards? I thought that..."

"Thought that what?"

"I mean, I know it would be silly of me to assume that you could ever fully heal after what happened, but...you're happy at the moment, now, right?"

"Yes. But that's — well. You know. Because of you being here and everything," he said, rushing through his words quickly. "But once you've left, then, well, then I...won't be."

Her hand crept up to cup his cheek. "I'm not gonna leave, so you're talking nonsense," she said firmly, definitively, as if that ended the matter. He believed her, of course; or at least, he believed that she would not leave of her own accord. And nothing but the inevitable would see him ever giving her up. It was just...well. That lingering thought that the inevitable will of course happen, that one day she would — that she would — go, as in permanently, as in far beyond his reach, as in...dead. He shuddered just thinking the word.

"Besides," she added. "I'd like to think that what we've...shared...the things we've done and the memories we've made...well, even if I can't stay with you for your concept of forever, I'd like to think they will, which surely means that a part of me will always be with you and so...that part of me...it won't let you go back to the darker times, not completely. Okay?" Her voice was shaky, and she couldn't quite meet his gaze as she spoke, feeling like she was being way too sappy and reading far too much into what their friendship meant to him.

"Rose," he whispered, sliding his hand up her spine to rest lightly at the back of her head. He tilted her head so that she was looking at him again. "I like this game," he said softly. "You're good at it."

"Yeah?" she replied, with a slight, uncertain laugh.

"Yes. It's your turn to confess something now."

"Okay. Um." She pressed her lips together, gathering her courage to admit this to him. "The thing is, I've never been the smartest girl around, and that didn't really matter to me when I was younger; I found school so boring and just wanted to get out and live...then of course, living a normal life turned out boring too because I didn't have the cleverness to do something with it. And so since I left school I've had this niggling feeling of not being smart enough and then since I've been travelling with you...well, partly it's helped, because you're generally complimentary about my supposed brilliance - "

The Doctor was frowning, and his frown deepened at this point so much that he had to interrupt, "Not supposed brilliance, Rose. You are brilliant."

"Yeah, but you say that to most people nowadays," she pointed out. "Used to be that we humans were all stupid apes, but now we are all the best creatures you've ever encountered..."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Now that's not fair - " he began, but she injected, continuing her earlier statement.

"But partly it doesn't help, because it's made it so much more obvious that there are a gazillion people better suited to -" she cut herself off abruptly, unsure whether she wanted to go in that direction of her secret insecurities.

"To what? Being in the TARDIS?" he scoffed. "That may be the most unfounded thing I've ever heard. Rose Tyler, no one could be better suited to life travelling around the universe than - "

"You."

"Well, yes, apart from me - "

"No, I mean..." she sighed. "I meant there are people better suited to you. To being..." She gulped but bravely persisted. "...close...to you."

The Doctor stared at her silently, but the expression on his face seemed...wistful.

"Here's where you're supposed to say something nice to make me feel less inadequate about being your friend, Doctor," she hinted jokingly after a minute of minimal response.

"I am honestly a bit speechless. Which...yes, I'm pretty sure that is a first." Maybe his earlier almost-confession wouldn't cost him her friendship after all, if he so chose to reveal it now?

"What? What's so revolutionary about what I just said? It's a perfectly reasonable conclusion to come to. I'm a shop girl from Earth and you are the most intelligent person in the universe, you've said so yourself. And I have met countless people on our travels who you could have a better connection with. I actually sit here and wonder at how you're not bored with me yet, to be honest..."

His mouth dropped open. Her tone had been light-hearted but her words had spoken of a real conviction somewhere in her mind that she wasn't good enough. And that made him really not like this game they were playing and really like it at the same time, because while it hurt him significantly that she would even think about herself and his opinion of her like that, he was profoundly grateful that he'd discovered such thoughts because now he could entirely correct them.

"Rose," he began determinedly, shuffling a little closer to her. "I consider myself very lucky indeed that you said yes the second time I asked you to come with me. Every day I spend with you is fantastic. Well, most days. Some days aren't because you get hurt and that's not very fantastic at all. But the other days, when you are smiling, those — those are the best days, and the days which occur most frequently, to my great relief. You prove to me all the time that I couldn't do without you. I mean, for goodness' sake — you saved my life within a day of knowing me! In more ways than one, too. And Rose, I've been consistently falling in love with you ever since." He paused briefly as she blinked at him in silence. "And if I just admitted something that you didn't want to hear, please pretend that I didn't and let's never speak of it again," he winced.

"Doctor," she murmured.

"Yes?" he replied, with a raspy voice.

"Did you mean all that?"

He hesitated, sighed, then spilled the truth, "Yes. Every word."

She smiled shyly, biting her lip for a moment, before rushing out, "I love you too. Want to know something else I don't like about me?"

His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish at her rapid sentence, within which he was sure she initially said something suspiciously like a positive reply. "I..."

She told him anyway, blurting it out in a wave of confidence, "I've woken up with you, and yet I haven't ever taken you to bed before."

"Oh," he squeaked. "Well, yes, I agree, that is very...appalling of you. How on earth am I going to make you feel better about that one?"

"Maybe if I rectified it right away it would lessen the guilt on my conscience about it," she pondered teasingly.

"Maybe it would," he agreed, nodding his head quickly.

"If...if you are sure that would be appreciated, of course."

"By me? Oh, very much so. Yes. Indeed. Better late than never and all that."

"Right then," she giggled, inching her lips closer to his. "I s'pose..."

"Yes," he replied, in a whisper, breath hot against her mouth, and then their lips were fused together and he forgot words entirely.


End file.
